Finding My Ruby Slippers and the Meaning of Courage

I haven’t posted anything since the New Year, 2012.  I’ve had a busy year filled with activities and thoughts that I fully intended on blogging about, but just never had the time (and that’s a good thing!).  Blogging has clearly not been a priority for me.  I thought that it was a habit that I would develop over time and that it would help me to take a step back and see things more clearly.  Also, I like the idea of having a written record of my thoughts and personal journey, much like my scrapbooks, but in words. Maybe I just need to work harder at making it a habit. 

That being said, I feel compelled to put some thoughts down, as I reflect on the past year.  At the beginning of the year, I asked for peace in 2012.  And peace, I received.  But I received so much more than that.  I’ve heard that when you pray for something, God doesn’t give you that thing for which you ask, but provides an opportunity for you to achieve it.  Well, I definitely received “opportunities” this year.  What it all amounts to is actually pretty cliché -- that I already have everything I need to create the life I always dreamed of [insert *clicking of red sparkly heels* here, and repeat – “there’s no place like home”].  

Most of all, I have been given the opportunity to be courageous and to witness courageousness in a way that I never would have considered before.   In our society, it seems to me that the definition of courage is too often warped and misused.

I’m not talking about the kind of courage it takes to run into a burning building to save another person, or to fight terrorism or debilitating injury or disease.  I think everyone can recognize and agree that that is courage.  I’m talking about a quiet, everyday kind of courage.  I’m talking about what it takes, day in and day out, for  an individual to live his or her life in a way that is honest and true to their beliefs and desires. To not let any person, society or peer group pressure you out of working toward what you really want for yourself.  Being courageous is doing what you think is best for you and taking a chance that if you follow your heart and your instincts, you may fail or be rejected.

Psychologist Rollo May states:

“The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.”

When people in our society use (or misuse) the term “courage”, they are actually talking about someone who resists ‘conforming’.  So, the question is, ‘conforming’ to what?  Conforming to society’s expectations of you?  Or, conforming to the expectations of your family or your peers?  Every bully knows that the way to cloak their own bad behavior is to get others to participate in the behavior with them.   That many people will not have the courage to stand up for what they know is right.

The unspoken truth is that we would always like the easy way out.  Whether that be acquiescing to others’ expectations of us, or finding the easiest possible route to resolving our issues or correcting our past mistakes. It is easier to scrap everything and start over again when things get hard, than to fix what is broken. Our society, our peers, support and encourage decisions to start over, start new, go for the quick fix, every day.  We see it everywhere, from divorce to bankruptcy to dissolving businesses, friendships, partnerships.  Even down to the ability to “reinvent” ourselves and project and create whole new identities on social media platforms.

Real courage is standing up for yourself and your ideas and not letting go even when it would be not only the easy thing to do, but the more supported by your peer group.

 “If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, then you will have betrayed yourself” ~Rollo May

Once we’ve betrayed ourselves, we tend to further cover our mistakes under the guise of being “courageous”, when really the behavior is reckless as opposed to courageous. 

Courage, according to Aristotle, is the mean between fear and recklessness. 

Next time you’re doing something you’re calling “courageous”, take a closer look. Is it actually reckless or selfish?  Is it simply a bad choice or an “easy way out”, disguised as “courageous” in an effort to do what you want and yet be able to view your actions in the best possible light?

Maybe that sounds pessimistic.  But, I’ve had a long road and many hard lessons to learn over the past several years, not the least of which is that there are people who  will not hesitate to harm others in the pursuant of their own gains, even if that means lying, cheating, threatening and manipulating. Society makes it easier for such a person, when they can disguise this behavior and spin it as being “courageous.”  

I used to always give people the benefit of the doubt and expect the best from everyone.  Sadly, I’ve learned that I need to be a better guardian for myself.  But, I’ve also learned that it is well within my power to do so.  All I need is to summon that “courage” that was there all along….

“There’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…”

“ Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, who discovered that she always had the means for going home, you already have what you need to be happy and safe. You have never really left Home. However, if you don't believe you already have what you need to be happy and safe, it is as if it isn't true: If we don't know the ruby slippers will take us home, it's like not having them. The ego keeps us from seeing the truth about those ruby slippers- it keeps us from seeing the truth about life. Home is right here, right now, but we may not realize it and there for not experience Home, or Essence as much as we might.” 

― Gina Lake, What about Now?