The Man Should Kill the Bugs

I woke up this Father’s Day to a big ugly water bug in my shower.   I hate bugs. I didn’t notice him until he was already drowned, but it creeped me out so much that I hopped out of the shower, soaking wet, and shouted at my husband “Bug in the shower! Bug in the shower!” He very sweetly, and without complaint, got out of the bed, came into the bathroom and scooped the dead, drowned bug out of the shower with a tissue.  His only comment was something to the effect of “yeah, that was an ugly one.”

This is exactly what I expected him to do.  Because that’s that what the man does. He kills the bugs.

I normally consider myself a staunch feminist.  So, I know I’m probably putting my foot in my mouth here and sounding like a total hypocrite.  But, it’s my truth.  So, here it goes.  The man should do the following:

1. Kill the bugs
2. Take care of the car
3.  Grill out

That’s it.  For me, these are the basics, and they are pretty much non-negotiable.  This is not to say that I am in any way unable to kill the bugs, take care of car maintenance, or grill a mean piece of meat.  It just means that this is my gold standard for how a household should run.  And why is that you may ask?  As a little girl, these are things I noticed that my father took care of, on a regular basis, no questions asked.  These things were his domain.  That is not to say that I never saw my father cook a meal or fold a load of laundry.  It’s just that those things were not, mainly speaking, his responsibility.  That’s also not to say, that these are the ONLY things that I expect of the man in the family and in no way does it mean that my father didn’t do a million other both amazing and ordinary things for his family every day. 

However, I have memories of his running to our defense, shoe in hand, at the call of “bug!”  I remember coming home from college and him having to check the oil and tires on my car or run it up to the service station and have it serviced and cleaned for me.  My father was such a huge fan of the outdoor grill that he would grill in any weather, and any season, literally. I have vivid images of him running outside to turn the meat, in freezing temperatures, through falling snow and pouring rain.  (Yes, that’s a little crazy, I know.  But, I love it.)

This Father’s Day, I want to blow kisses and thanks up to heaven to my Daddy for the example he set for me and for making me feel safe and loved. 

And to my husband, the father of my child, love and kisses on this Father’s Day.  Thank you for being my biggest supporter and a wonderful father to our boy.  But more than that, the person who knows me best in the world, the person who shares my secrets, my heartbreaks and my joys, my lover, my friend, my car guy, my grillmaster and of course my Killer of the Bugs.