That being said, I feel
compelled to put some thoughts down, as I reflect on the past year. At the beginning of the year, I asked for
peace in 2012. And peace, I received. But I received so much more than that. I’ve heard that when you pray for something,
God doesn’t give you that thing for which you ask, but provides an opportunity
for you to achieve it. Well, I
definitely received “opportunities” this year.
What it all amounts to is actually pretty cliché -- that I already have
everything I need to create the life I always dreamed of [insert *clicking of
red sparkly heels* here, and repeat – “there’s no place like home”].
Most of all, I have been
given the opportunity to be courageous and to witness courageousness in a way
that I never would have considered before.
In our society, it seems to me that the definition of courage is too
often warped and misused.
I’m not talking about the
kind of courage it takes to run into a burning building to save another person,
or to fight terrorism or debilitating injury or disease. I think everyone can recognize and agree that
that is courage. I’m talking about a
quiet, everyday kind of courage. I’m
talking about what it takes, day in and day out, for an individual to live his or her life in a way
that is honest and true to their beliefs and desires. To not let any person,
society or peer group pressure you out of working toward what you really want
for yourself. Being courageous is doing
what you think is best for you and taking a chance that if you follow your
heart and your instincts, you may fail or be rejected.
Psychologist Rollo May
states:
“The opposite of courage in our society
is not cowardice, it is conformity.”
When people in our society
use (or misuse) the term “courage”, they are actually talking about someone who
resists ‘conforming’. So, the question
is, ‘conforming’ to what? Conforming to
society’s expectations of you? Or,
conforming to the expectations of your family or your peers? Every bully knows that the way to cloak their
own bad behavior is to get others to participate in the behavior with
them. That many people will not have
the courage to stand up for what they know is right.
The unspoken truth is that
we would always like the easy way out. Whether
that be acquiescing to others’ expectations of us, or finding the easiest
possible route to resolving our issues or correcting our past mistakes. It is
easier to scrap everything and start over again when things get hard, than to
fix what is broken. Our society, our peers, support and encourage decisions to
start over, start new, go for the quick fix, every day. We see it everywhere, from divorce to
bankruptcy to dissolving businesses, friendships, partnerships. Even down to the ability to “reinvent”
ourselves and project and create whole new identities on social media
platforms.
Real courage is standing up
for yourself and your ideas and not letting go even when it would be not only
the easy thing to do, but the more supported by your peer group.
“If you do not express your own original
ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, then you will have betrayed
yourself” ~Rollo May
Once we’ve betrayed
ourselves, we tend to further cover our mistakes under the guise of being
“courageous”, when really the behavior is reckless as opposed to courageous.
Courage,
according to Aristotle, is the mean between fear and recklessness.
Next time you’re doing
something you’re calling “courageous”, take a closer look. Is it actually
reckless or selfish? Is it simply a bad
choice or an “easy way out”, disguised as “courageous” in an effort to do what
you want and yet be able to view your actions in the best possible light?
Maybe that sounds
pessimistic. But, I’ve had a long road
and many hard lessons to learn over the past several years, not the least of
which is that there are people who will not
hesitate to harm others in the pursuant of their own gains, even if that means
lying, cheating, threatening and manipulating. Society makes it easier for such
a person, when they can disguise this behavior and spin it as being “courageous.”
I used to always give people
the benefit of the doubt and expect the best from everyone. Sadly, I’ve learned that I need to
be a better guardian for myself. But,
I’ve also learned that it is well within my power to do so. All I need is to summon that “courage” that
was there all along….
“There’s no place like
home…there’s no place like home…”
“ Like Dorothy in The
Wizard of Oz, who discovered that she always had the means for
going home, you already have what you need to be happy and safe. You have never
really left Home. However, if you don't believe you already have what you need
to be happy and safe, it is as if it isn't true: If we don't know the ruby
slippers will take us home, it's like not having them. The ego keeps us from
seeing the truth about those ruby slippers- it keeps us from seeing the truth
about life. Home is right here, right now, but we may not realize it and there
for not experience Home, or Essence as much as we might.”
― Gina Lake, What
about Now?