"Love, Actually" isn't actually about Love.

Let me start out by saying this - I LOVE romantic comedies.  My husband has long teased me that, if I had my druthers, they are probably the only genre of movie I would watch.  I think that is taking it a little too far. I do have other interests. However, I will admit, that I would watch them a LOT. The problem is that really good romantic comedies just don't come along all that often.  For that reason, I so desperately wanted to love this movie, with such an outstanding cast and Christmas as a backdrop, how could it go wrong?  But it does.  So grandiously Wrong.

I've hated this movie since the first time I watched it (going on 10 years ago - wow, I'm geting old). It left me feeling depressed and vaguely angry, but I couldn't really put a finger on why.  After seeing and hearing praise for it over and over again, I gave this movie several more tries at winning me over, thinking that I was possibly in a bad mood or in a bad place when I saw it.  But, no. Each time I watched it, or tried to watch it (I don't think I ever got completey through it after one viewing), I just became angrier and angrier.

Then recently I noticed in my Twitter stream that 'Love, Actually' is having its 10th anniversary (has it Reeeaalllly been Ten Years?  See previous comment). I noticed new articles about the movie and people anticipating watching it again over the holidays.  I thought to myself - "what is wrong with me? Could I really be the only person on this planet who HATES this movie?" Then I began to think "what is wrong with our society that people can be so in love with this movie!?"  So, I actually googled - "Who Hates Love Actually?" and was rewarded with several reviews that left me feeling both vindicated and far from alone in my "bah humbugness."

I won't go into detail about the hideousness of each and every story line.  There are far better reviewers who have done that.  See here:
http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1716844/love-actually-movie-critics.jhtml?utm=share_twitter
and here:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/emilyorley/times-love-actually-lied-to-us-about-love
and especially here:
http://www.videogum.com/250742/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time-love-actually/franchises/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time/

The best review, in my opinion, was the one I found by Mary Elizabeth Williams on Salon.com.  Not only did I see a kindred soul in her appreciation for romantic comedies and wanting so much to love this movie, but I think she very intuitively hits the nail on the head by pointing out the decidedly misogynistic point of view of the entire movie. See here:
http://www.salon.com/2012/12/19/love_actually_the_worst_christmas_movie_ever/

Since the major issues have all been well covered by much better writers than I, there is only one point left that I feel the need to make, and that is this *steps up on soapbox*:

'Love, Actually' actually has nothing to do with Love.

'Love, Actually' is a commentary on what our society accepts as love these days.  The devaluing of real love because it takes a lot of time and committment on the part of both individuals.   These are things that our fast-paced "I want everything now and I want it wrapped up in a great big pretty package with a bow on it so that I can feel good right now" lives have no patience for.  Love should not be disposable, and if you aren't ecstatically happy all the time, that doesn't mean you're not "in love" anymore.  It takes real committment, communication and sometimes sacrifice. You have to take the time to focus on your significant other and his/her needs.  And that's what it's all about, folks.  The rewards in the end are multitude, including lots of laughter and fun, and worth every bit of effort and then some. But, for some reason, I see more and more people thinking that love should only be easy and fun.  When it's not, or they are bored with the lives they have built with someone, they look for something different.  Something easier, something new and fresh and exciting, but in my mind, massively less meaningful.   I am not so eloquent a writer nor self-grandising enough to think that I can describe what real Love is, but (much like pornography), I know it when I see it.  And, more importantly, I know what it is not, and it is most decididly not anything depicted in 'Love, Actually'.
*steps down from soapbox*

All that being said, a good romantic comedy should simply leave the viewer feeling happy and optimistic about love (aka "The Wedding Singer" and "You've Got Mail", two of my all-time faves).  True, they typically depict the beginning of love, when everything is exciting and new, and there is so much to be optimistic about. Real life however,  is messy and so is real love.  But, that's ok too.  There are so many great romantic comedies out there, from classics to more modern movies, that I can't even begin to list them. However (since I went there), here are some pretty well curated lists:

http://www.imdb.com/list/Cylzo7wmyZI/
http://www.pastemagazine.com/blogs/lists/2013/04/the-50-best-romantic-comedies-of-all-time.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/12/romantic-comedies-best-_n_2664977.html

Although one of these lists does include 'Love, Actually', for the most part, as I peruse these lists I am reminded of so many truly great "feel good" rom-coms that I am now dying to spend an entire weekend binge-watching them  (don't tell the hubby.)